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Post by Stan Butler on Sept 4, 2006 17:27:08 GMT
I know I could've put this in the American Section, just to fill it up a bit, but you've no chance. It's going in here.  One was a slapper, one was too old (even though she wasn't as old as any of them in real life), one was a lesbian, and the other was a chap! |
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Post by BlackRaven on Sept 4, 2006 17:56:40 GMT
You only have to put allegedly if it isn't true  |
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Post by Stan Butler on Sept 4, 2006 18:03:28 GMT
You only have to put allegedly if it isn't true NOTE: My post has been modified! |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Sept 4, 2006 22:12:15 GMT
As someone who works with Older People I thought this was CRAP...
"Hey... just cos we're old... doesn't mean we have to act old - yey, swing baby!"
Wow(!) like that's new...
Trying to 'PC' something by changing a stereotype... not clever though - it's what's known as reality!
N.
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Post by BlackRaven on Sept 5, 2006 13:36:31 GMT
You only have to put allegedly if it isn't true NOTE: My post has been modified! hehehe |
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solo
Heckler
Posts: 51
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Post by solo on Feb 14, 2007 0:07:45 GMT
Granny
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Post by L'Adder Noir on Apr 4, 2007 17:10:09 GMT
Aw, man... I think this was a great show! Estelle Getty's one-liners are hysterical! And knowing a lot of transplants to Florida (not to mention a lot of little old Italian ladies from NYC) this was great!!
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Post by Stan Butler on Apr 4, 2007 23:29:13 GMT
Aw, man... I think this was a great show! Estelle Getty's one-liners are hysterical! And knowing a lot of transplants to Florida (not to mention a lot of little old Italian ladies from NYC) this was great!!
If you can supply more examples of why this was actually any good, I might consider moving it to the American section. Or maybe that's not such a good idea!  |
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Post by L'Adder Noir on Apr 4, 2007 23:51:38 GMT
TOP 10 BEST LINES BY DOROTHY ZBORNAK
(or at least some of the better ones...) Dorothy: You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago which rendered her totally annoying. Dorothy: [to Sophia] You're a furry little gnome and we feed you too much. [the girls hire a bunch of retired old men to work on their garage] Dorothy: I think that this was the supporting cast of Cocoon. Dorothy: Good night, Rose. Go to sleep, honey. Pray for brains. Rose: Oh, come on, Dorothy, that balloon man couldn't have been that terrible. Dorothy: I got the feeling I was the man's first date that wasn't inflatable. Rose: I couldn't sleep, so I whipped up a batch of Sverhoeven Crispies. It's a traditional midnight snack from St. Olaf dating back to Viking times. Dorothy: Well, I guess after a hard night of pillaging and raping, a Viking would want a little something to go with his cocoa. Dorothy: It's wonderful dating in Miami. Every single man under eighty sells cocaine. [Rose and Dorothy are attempting to move a new toilet into the bathroom] Rose: Oh, don't give up, Dorothy. If the ancient Egyptians could move twenty ton stone blocks to build the pyramids, we can move a toilet. Dorothy: Fine, Rose. Get me twenty thousand Hebrews and I'll see what I can do. Blanche: I can't believe you said that! Oh if I weren't a lady I'd deck you. Dorothy: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date. [Discussing a bad actress who played Anne Frank in a community theater play] Dorothy: I mean, for the enitre second act, the audience kept yelling, "She's in the attic, she's in the attic!" [/tt][/size] |
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Post by L'Adder Noir on Apr 5, 2007 0:04:04 GMT
TOP 10 BEST LINES BY ROSE NYLUND
(or at least some of the better ones...) Rose: My cousin Ingmar was different. He used to do bird imitations. Blanche: What's wrong with that? Rose: Well, let's just say, you didn't want to park your car under their oak tree. Rose: We should put out the welcome mat. Blanche: But honey, we don't have a welcome mat. Rose: What about the one Dorothy always says is at the foot of your bed? Rose: I think she's a garkögernøckin. Counselor: What does that mean? Rose: Well, it used to be the term for the precise second that dog doo turns white, but now it mainly stands for rude. Rose: This place makes me wanna run out and get pregnant. Blanche: Do you know what I hate doing most after a party? Rose: Trying to find your undies in the big pile? Rose: I skipped school only once. It turned out to be the day they taught everything! Blanche: Why don't you come with me and I'll show you how I transform myself into a fresh faced innocent young thing. Rose: Could you skip the innocent part, Blanche, the show starts in two hours. Rose: I haven't been this scared since 1952, when St. Olaf's most active volcano threatened to erupt. Well, luckily there were some druid priests who were in town for the opening of StonehengeLand. They said they could stop it if they could sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin. I don't know why I raised my hand. Rose: I would have died if I'd ever caught my parents having sex. Dorothy: You never walked in on them? Rose: Once. But they were only playing leap-frog. Rose [to Dorothy]: You said you were going to make 'em suffer. Don't you have to date a man to do that?[/tt][/size] |
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Post by L'Adder Noir on Apr 5, 2007 0:59:22 GMT
TOP 10 BEST LINES BY SOPHIA PETRILLO
(or at least some of the better ones...) Blanche: I never had to pay a penny in backtaxes. I have a way with auditors. The last time I was audited I even got money back from the government. Sophia: Blanche, it's not a refund when the auditor leaves two twenties on your nightstand. Sophia: There's just something I don't like about him. I can't put my finger on it, but if I did, I'd have to wash it. Blanche: I tried giving up sex. Dorothy: I guess you fell off the wagon. Sophia: And on to a naval base! Blanche: Why, Rose, that's the law of the jungle! Sophia: Thank you, Sheena, queen of the slut people. Blanche: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to relax in a hot, steamy bath with just enough water to cover my perky bosoms. Sophia: You're gonna lay in an inch of water? Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood? Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves. Sophia: Oh boy, we're going to a sperm bank. I wonder if they have a drive-up window. Dorothy: Even if he never calls again, at least we'll always have Don's Crab House. Sophia: Ingrid Bergman had Paris, my pussycat has crabs. Blanche: Who knows my body better than I do? Sophia: Any man in Miami not attached to a woman or a respirator. Sophia: I walk into the living room and there is a toilet right in front of the television set... It's an old ladies' dream! [/tt][/size] |
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Post by L'Adder Noir on Apr 5, 2007 1:24:29 GMT
TOP 10 BEST LINES BY BLANCHE DEVEREAUX
(or at least some of the better ones...) Blanche: I swear with God as my witness, I will never pick up another man!... in a library... on a Saturday... unless he's cute... and drives a nice car... Amen Game Show Host: For one hundred dollars, complete this famous phrase: "Better late than...” Blanche: Pregnant! Blanche: [explaining why she wore a red wedding dress] Oh please, it's bad enough hearing all those snickers as you walk down the aisle, but me in white, even I couldn't keep a straight face. Dorothy: You put an ad in the personals that says I will do anything for eight dollars an hour!? Blanche: Girls? There's a busload of Greek sailors outside. They want to know how many drachma there are in eight dollars. Blanche: I do love the rain so... it reminds me of my first kiss. Dorothy: Aww... your first kiss was in the rain? Blanche: No... it was in the shower! Dorothy: Wait, Blanche, honey, aren't you forgetting something? Blanche: Oh, no, I never wear underwear. Blanche: We're collecting lingerie for needy, sexy people. Blanche: I just hate being the butt of jokes! Dorothy: Strangely enough, you don't mind being the butt of limericks! Blanche: That's different - that's poetry! Blanche: As God is my witness, I will never shampoo your hair again! Blanche: Dorothy, where’s my heating pad? Dorothy: How should I know? Blanche: If this isn’t it, I’d like to know what other electrical appliance your using under that blanket? [/tt][/size] |
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Post by Conrad Poohs on Apr 5, 2007 2:17:41 GMT
OMG, these were great examples!! What a showcase for a great American comedy!
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Post by L'Adder Noir on Apr 5, 2007 12:13:00 GMT
I'm not sure if they're convinced, Kos. I mean, it's very much a Yank sense of humor.
You know, no extra "u"'s...
We only get "u"'s in Jersey. You know, like Joisey Toinpike...
**sigh**
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Post by Stan Butler on Apr 5, 2007 16:02:06 GMT
I'm not sure if they're convinced, Kos. I mean, it's very much a Yank sense of humor.
You know, no extra "u"'s...
We only get "u"'s in Jersey. You know, like Joisey Toinpike...
**sigh** I see you are quite fond of this. So after much deliberation and taking into the consideration the evidence you have provided to support these ageing old people, I am pleased to tell you that I shall deport this thread to the American Section. ;D |
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