Post by Stan Butler on Jun 21, 2006 17:34:10 GMT
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."
;D
Paddy and Mick' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted". One of them said, "Ye know, it's a shame paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job".
;D
Did you hear about the Irish man who tried to rip-off British rail?
He bought a return ticket and never came back!
;D
Did you hear about another Irishman who broke his neck raking some leaves up?
He fell out of the tree!
;D
Paddy and Mick landed themselves a job at the local sawmill. Just before morning tea Paddy yelped, "Mick, I've lost me bloody finger!!!"
"Have you now?" says Mick, "And how did you do it?"
"Well, I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi....Holy shite, there goes another one!!!"
;D
Englishman jumps out of an aeroplane. On his way down, he sees a man on his way up. "Excuse me says the Englishman, do you know anything about parachutes?
Irishman says "do you know anything about gas boilers?"
;D
While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.
The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.
The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."
;D
Paddy and Mick' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted". One of them said, "Ye know, it's a shame paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job".
;D
Did you hear about the Irish man who tried to rip-off British rail?
He bought a return ticket and never came back!
;D
Did you hear about another Irishman who broke his neck raking some leaves up?
He fell out of the tree!
;D
Paddy and Mick landed themselves a job at the local sawmill. Just before morning tea Paddy yelped, "Mick, I've lost me bloody finger!!!"
"Have you now?" says Mick, "And how did you do it?"
"Well, I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi....Holy shite, there goes another one!!!"
;D
Englishman jumps out of an aeroplane. On his way down, he sees a man on his way up. "Excuse me says the Englishman, do you know anything about parachutes?
Irishman says "do you know anything about gas boilers?"
;D
