Jim'll Fix It!

[Lieutenant Columbo]

Now then guys and gals... here's a cracking new thread we can all enjoy... no less

arr-ee-arr-ee-arrh! Howzabout that then?

Imagine that you want summat doing and you want Jimmy Saville to do it...

No... I'm not on about some grouting, or helping yer Mam carry some spuds home... I'm referring to that classic prog. 'Jim'll Fix It'.

You must remember it... here's how it worked...



So what say we write our 'Letters To Jim' just for the fun of it... no badges to be won, nor even an "Ow's about that then?" comment from our own cigar-chomping white haired wrestling DJ?



Oh... and here's the theme tune to add to the effect!

Your letter was only the start of it,
one letter and now you're a part of it,
Now you've done it,
Jim has fixed for it you,
and you and you.

There must be something that you always want to do,
the one thing that you always wanted to,
Now you've done it,
Jim has fixed it for you,
and you and you and you
'Bampah-bam... baaarm baa" etc.

Jim has fixed it for you, and you and you and you-ou-ou.




Now you can either post something daft and I'll reply to it as 'Jimmy' or you can pretend to be Jimmy yourself... jewellery jewellery, papal knighthood, this is the age OF THE TRAIN... it says here... we hevv a letturr... etc. - WOW!

So - come on and join in folks!

;D

N.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

Jim writes:



"Annd we hevv hee-yer a leturr neow less... wudd yew believe it... from a yeng laydee from Abairdeen! Wow!"

Dear Jim,

Please can you fix it for me to have the word 'Borange' added to the dictionary... as there is currently nothing that rhymes with the word 'orange'.

It would make my day!

Lucy Stiles, Aberdeen


"Naaaw THEN!

Not ewnly did we do this fabulousness for this yeng laydee but we also had a definition for that there word made by the ghost of Keats no less! WOW"

Borange
Bhorr-inj (n.)

A word invented especially because there was NO WORD in the English Language that rhymed with 'Orange' - until now!

Now a definition then... er... okay, 'Borange' is the sound made when an old style telephone is dropped from a diving board, just as it hits the water.

e.g. 'Borange Borange' - Beggar... the 'phone's ringing, but I ain't got me bathing trunks on - so forget it!

I would rather eat a sour orange
Than listen to my phone cry BORANGE!



"Owzabowt that then?"



Sir J.S.

[The Collector]

Dear Jim

Could you please fix it for me to go Wibble at the Queen?

Yours
Betty Swollocks

[Stan Butler]

Dear Jim,

Could you please fix it for me to have adverts removed from films on telly. It p*sses me off the amount of adverts that come on these days. Also, if it's not too much trouble, is it possible that you can arrange films to be shown all in one go, and not continue after the news.....

Oh, and get shut of that friggin' red button n'all.



Thanks Jim!

MR. G. SPIELBERG,
FILM DIRECTOR
HOLLYWOOD,
WIGAN.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

zygon said:

Dear Jim

Could you please fix it for me to go Wibble at the Queen?

Yours
Betty Swollocks

Jim writes:

"Wibble noow less... nerw thenn yeng mann... I can arrange that without problem... well - actually it's illegal... but deawn't fret... next best thing is Jeanette Charles - not only can you say wibble to her without impunity - you can also throw turnip tops at her!

Howzat for a great fixxitt?"

Sir J.S.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

gary said:

Dear Jim,

Could you please fix it for me to have adverts removed from films on telly. It p*sses me off the amount of adverts that come on these days. Also, if it's not too much trouble, is it possible that you can arrange films to be shown all in one go, and not continue after the news.....

Oh, and get shut of that friggin' red button n'all.



Thanks Jim!

MR. G. SPIELBERG,
FILM DIRECTOR
HOLLYWOOD,
WIGAN.

Jim writes:

"You seem to be distress by all this my good man - life's too short.

I hevv fixed it for yew though... I've put 'tippex' on the top left corner of your television screen and - voila - no more 'red button'.

As to adverts - I've had the films removed - so now you can watch all those adverts together without fear of action sequences, drama, plot and comedy.

W-aaaaw! No less!"

Sir J.S.

[The Collector]

Thank you Sir Jim!

[Lieutenant Columbo]

"You're welcome - such a polite chap too - the Duchess would've liked you, you know!"

Sir J.S.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

"Dear Jim - this thread's not been seen for ages as it's on page 2 here...

Please can you 'bump' it so others can see it and then post?"

Julie Mawdsey aged 6.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

"Goodnuss gereyshuss, that's an easy one! Here yow gew!"

;D

S.J.S.

[missfunnyfanny]

Dear Jim,

Please could you fix it for me to have a jump with the 49th parachute regiment!

Miss Funny Fanny

;D ;D