Post by loki on Oct 18, 2006 9:57:40 GMT
The Three Samurai
Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent a declaration throughout the land that he was searching for the best one.
A year passed, and only 3 people showed up for the trials: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai, and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor invited the Japanese Samurai demonstrate why he should become the chief Samurai.
The Japanese Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his razor-sharp sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on the ground, in 2 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "This is impressive!" He then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai, for him to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen.
The Chinese Samurai also opened a matchbox, and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! went his great flashing sword, and the fly dropped dead on the ground .....in four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed in awe: "That is really VERY impressive!" And then he turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to step forward and demonstrate why he should be appointed chief Samurai.
The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box, and out flew a small gnat. His lightning quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh!....But the tiny gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously very disappointed at this display, said, "I see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
Swatting Flies
A young boy is standing on a street corner swatting flies. Everytime he sees a fly he utters, Bloody flies, Bloody flies."
Just as the boy says it a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the flies because every one of God's creations has a purpose."
The little boy, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "bullsh*t."
"Well tell me 3 things on this earth that God has made without Usefulness" says the priest.
The boy looks at him with a grin and replies, "T*ts on a nun, b*lls on a priest, and these Bloody flies."
Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent a declaration throughout the land that he was searching for the best one.
A year passed, and only 3 people showed up for the trials: a Japanese Samurai, a Chinese Samurai, and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor invited the Japanese Samurai demonstrate why he should become the chief Samurai.
The Japanese Samurai opened a matchbox, and out flew a bumblebee. Whoosh! went his razor-sharp sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on the ground, in 2 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "This is impressive!" He then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai, for him to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen.
The Chinese Samurai also opened a matchbox, and out buzzed a fly. Whoosh, Whoosh! went his great flashing sword, and the fly dropped dead on the ground .....in four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed in awe: "That is really VERY impressive!" And then he turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to step forward and demonstrate why he should be appointed chief Samurai.
The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box, and out flew a small gnat. His lightning quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh!....But the tiny gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously very disappointed at this display, said, "I see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said, "Circumcision is not meant to kill."
Swatting Flies
A young boy is standing on a street corner swatting flies. Everytime he sees a fly he utters, Bloody flies, Bloody flies."
Just as the boy says it a shocked priest walks up and says, "You should not curse the flies because every one of God's creations has a purpose."
The little boy, unmoved by the priest's objection says, "bullsh*t."
"Well tell me 3 things on this earth that God has made without Usefulness" says the priest.
The boy looks at him with a grin and replies, "T*ts on a nun, b*lls on a priest, and these Bloody flies."