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Post by Master Shake on Mar 13, 2007 19:51:41 GMT
Had many a happy pint in O'Neill's meself. Most with KK as it happens.  |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 13, 2007 22:16:23 GMT
I used to go BONKERS on the Caffreys in there... me Tuesday Night 'Folk Do' session would start wi' about six in there... then off to Upper Morris Street for the folk club for around 8 double rums!
Christ, no wonder I'm tee-total now!
;D
N.
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Post by The Collector on Mar 14, 2007 14:46:50 GMT
Yep, FG introduced me to there and I introduced MS
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 14, 2007 21:40:57 GMT
... and theings have gone downhill ever since!
;D
N.
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Post by The Collector on Mar 15, 2007 14:14:59 GMT
Flaires in Wigan's changing into 'Relax-The 80's bar' Using a pic of B.A. on the poster advertising in the window Reflex not Relax Wrong 80's classic!  |
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Post by Reneekittycat on Mar 26, 2007 16:54:55 GMT
So You Want To Sell Your Body?
You're worth more than you think.
Well, I guess you could try prostitution, but that's not what I'm talking about.
Let's suppose that when you die, you wish to sell your body. Now I'm sure that there is some pervert out there that would want to do some things we shouldn't mention. However, many claim that your body is a mineral goldmine. Could the minerals actually be "mined" and sold at market value? Let's see:
According to the U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils, your body is:
65% Oxygen (worthless - meaning that you're mostly hot air!)
18% Carbon (worthless)
10% Hydrogen (worthless)
3% Nitrogen (good for plant food)
1.5% Calcium (worthless)
1% Phosphorous (good fertilizer)
0.35% Potassium (worthless)
0.25% Sulfur (can be used to make that rotten egg smell)
0.15% Sodium (salt)
0.15% Chlorine (not enough for the backyard pool)
0.05% Magnesium (of slight value)
0.0004% Iron (I guess we can rust)
0.00004% Iodine (sell this to the medical industry)
Plus minute quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminum, and arsenic(!). No gold, silver, or platinum deposits.
Value of all this great stuff - less than $1.00. This won't cover the price of the funeral.
I guess if you had enough bodies some money could be earned. Doesn't sound worth it. Just the smell of the decomposing bodies would make me want to live in poverty for the rest of my life.
I overlooked a better money making scheme.
Instead of selling the minerals in your body, you could sell your skin. Those sick Nazis had an entire industry built on this scheme. They made lampshades, shoes, and other things that used leather-like human skins. Thankfully, they lost the war and this practice ended.
The question is, how much skin do we have? We have to know if we intend to sell it.
The average person has between fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin on the body. Each person varies a bit. Things such as your height, how fat you are, and how big your breasts are cause the three major differences.
So how do they estimate this?
I guess that they could skin you after death and measure it that way. They don't.
It seems that the Japanese have the solution. The Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo has a method. First, they have you strip naked. They then adhere a strong, thin paper to every centimeter of your body. The paper is allowed to dry and removed. They then cut the paper into small pieces and carefully calculate your body measurements. Sounds kind of kinky.
This could cause a change in our standards. Instead of Miss June being a 36D-22-34 (must be an inflatable model), she would now be a 12,800 square centimeter beauty.
So how much is this skin worth? If we assume that a square foot of cow hide sells for 25 cents, then you would be worth approximately $3.50. Plus, you could still get nearly $1.00 for the minerals contained in your body, as most elements are stored in your bones and internal organs. Hey, if you're lucky, the market could be on an upswing. Maybe you could get five bucks!
Prostitution is sounding more profitable with each sentence that I write!
Useless? Useful? I’ll leave that for you to decide
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Post by Master Shake on Apr 10, 2007 18:28:01 GMT
Bloody hell, only just read this; when I go, some bugger could make a fortune off of my skin then! ;D
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Post by The Collector on Apr 10, 2007 21:12:28 GMT
Why do you think WW has found out about it MS!
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Post by The Collector on Apr 10, 2007 21:55:34 GMT
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Post by The Collector on Apr 10, 2007 21:59:24 GMT
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Post by Stan Butler on Apr 11, 2007 13:49:55 GMT
top one!, Boss have you got the right's to the name? I don't have any 'official' rights as such, but everyone knows there's only one SAMfilms. That one on the link you showed us can't even construct a website. That's been work in progress for about two years. |
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Post by The Collector on Apr 11, 2007 14:00:14 GMT
Fair enough!
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Apr 11, 2007 14:39:32 GMT
There's only one of me too!
As far as I know... but who can tell with Evil Doppelgangers... DNA tricks, Cloning, Parallel Universe Theories etc. etc.
;D
N.
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Post by Stan Butler on Apr 11, 2007 17:00:33 GMT
 I've heard a rumour today that Emile Heskey will be moving round the corner from where I live. There are currently some new houses being built there. Apparantly he's bought one and will be living there once it's ready. |
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Post by Master Shake on Apr 11, 2007 20:06:03 GMT
Besides, that one's samfilms. The real, true SAMfilms has SAM in uppercase.
I know which I prefer.
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