Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Sept 14, 2006 8:02:28 GMT
Now this is a TRUE CLASSIC - I love this film!
John Candy as Del Griffith and Steve Martin as Neal Page... yep a "Buddy Buddy" road movie - but these guys ain't buddies!
There are a few corny and schmaltzy moments but they pale against some of the best dialogue in comedy history in fillums!
Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?
Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that f*cking dumbass smile off your rosy f*cking cheeks! Then you can give me a f*cking automobile: a f*cking Datsun, a f*cking Toyota, a f*cking Mustang, a f*cking Buick! Four f*cking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of f*cking nowhere with f*cking keys to a f*cking car that isn't f*cking there. And I really didn't care to f*cking walk down a f*cking highway and across a f*cking runway to get back here to have you smile at my f*cking face. I want a f*cking car RIGHT F*CKING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement.
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy what?
Car Rental Agent: You're f*cked!
[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel]
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!
Cab Dispatcher: Where are you going?
Neal: Chicago.
Cab Dispatcher: Chicago?
Neal: Yeah, Chicago.
Cab Dispatcher: You know you're in St. Louis?
Neal: Yes I do.
Cab Dispatcher: Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal.
Neal: If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?
[the cab dispatcher punches him in the face]
but my all time favourite... is when Neal (Steve Martin) loses it big time and just has to say what he thinks of his 'chum:
Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. [makes 'string pulling' action]Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!
Ten out of ten for this one - a blinding film!
;D
N.
John Candy as Del Griffith and Steve Martin as Neal Page... yep a "Buddy Buddy" road movie - but these guys ain't buddies!
There are a few corny and schmaltzy moments but they pale against some of the best dialogue in comedy history in fillums!
Del: You play with your balls a lot.
Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.
Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!
Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?
Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.
Neal: You know what'd make me happy?
Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?
Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that f*cking dumbass smile off your rosy f*cking cheeks! Then you can give me a f*cking automobile: a f*cking Datsun, a f*cking Toyota, a f*cking Mustang, a f*cking Buick! Four f*cking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of f*cking nowhere with f*cking keys to a f*cking car that isn't f*cking there. And I really didn't care to f*cking walk down a f*cking highway and across a f*cking runway to get back here to have you smile at my f*cking face. I want a f*cking car RIGHT F*CKING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement.
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy what?
Car Rental Agent: You're f*cked!
[waking up after sharing the same bed on the motel]
Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!
Cab Dispatcher: Where are you going?
Neal: Chicago.
Cab Dispatcher: Chicago?
Neal: Yeah, Chicago.
Cab Dispatcher: You know you're in St. Louis?
Neal: Yes I do.
Cab Dispatcher: Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal.
Neal: If I wanted a joke, I'd follow you into the john and watch you take a leak. Now are you gonna help me or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?
[the cab dispatcher punches him in the face]
but my all time favourite... is when Neal (Steve Martin) loses it big time and just has to say what he thinks of his 'chum:
Neal: You know everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. You're a miracle! Your stories have NONE of that. They're not even amusing ACCIDENTALLY! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecodotes for you. Oh and here's a gun so you can blow your brains out. You'll thank me for it." I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days I could sit there and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face. They'd say, "How can you stand it?" I'd say, "'Cause I've been with Del Griffith. I can take ANYTHING." You know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean. The shower curtain ring guy. Woah." It's like going on a date with a Chatty Cathy doll. I expect you have a little string on your chest, you know, that I pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back - you would. [makes 'string pulling' action]Agh! Agh! Agh! Agh! And by the way, you know, when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea - have a POINT. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!
Ten out of ten for this one - a blinding film!
;D
N.
