Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Oct 4, 2006 20:07:30 GMT
Obscure one this - a spoof autobiog. done in 1995, but a very good read!
Couple of excerpts:
"My parents surprised a lot of people by marrying very quickly, the ceremony lasted only eleven seconds, and they made the fateful decision to form a double act. It made a lot of sense for the two of them to work together and although my mother had no performing experience my father put this down to the simple fact that she had never done it before. They settled on a name, The Marvelettes, and spent several weeks devising a new act. Their early efforts weren't particularly successful. Clearly inspired by Houdini, The Marvelettes claimed they could escape from time itself. They'd take the stage with an alarm clock and a straitjacket. Mother would tie father into the jacket while pointing out to the audience that the clock was set at 2.15. They would then remain motionless until mother remarked that the clock now showed 2.20. Father would then claim that although he had not escaped from the jacket he had certainly escaped from time because it was no longer 2.15. The public didn't really go for this much even though my parents encouraged them to "ooh" and "ahh" as the seconds ticked away. Mother and father ran the act for a couple of weeks until an irate theatre manager collared them backstage in Aberdeen and curtly informed them both that, in his opinion, not only had they failed to escape time but they'd be hard pressed to escape Aberdeen."
"War broke out in 1939. I sensed the opportunity to entertain the troops abroad. Unfortunately I volunteered to entertain the wrong side. I'd agreed to the bookings, but because of my poor education I had no idea that Munich was in Germany. Let me tell you, those concerts were very hard work. I didn't really have an act, so I simply collected together all the old jokes I could think of. In fact the act went so badly that once British Intelligence discovered what I was up to I was positively encouraged to continue because of my invaluable role in sapping enemy morale. Indeed on the explicit orders of Winston Churchill I added a comic song. I was later told by Field-Marshal Montgomery himself that my efforts to entertain in every tawdry nightclub in Berlin had hastened the end of the war by eighteen months."
Well worth a look if you can get hold of it.
N.
Couple of excerpts:
"My parents surprised a lot of people by marrying very quickly, the ceremony lasted only eleven seconds, and they made the fateful decision to form a double act. It made a lot of sense for the two of them to work together and although my mother had no performing experience my father put this down to the simple fact that she had never done it before. They settled on a name, The Marvelettes, and spent several weeks devising a new act. Their early efforts weren't particularly successful. Clearly inspired by Houdini, The Marvelettes claimed they could escape from time itself. They'd take the stage with an alarm clock and a straitjacket. Mother would tie father into the jacket while pointing out to the audience that the clock was set at 2.15. They would then remain motionless until mother remarked that the clock now showed 2.20. Father would then claim that although he had not escaped from the jacket he had certainly escaped from time because it was no longer 2.15. The public didn't really go for this much even though my parents encouraged them to "ooh" and "ahh" as the seconds ticked away. Mother and father ran the act for a couple of weeks until an irate theatre manager collared them backstage in Aberdeen and curtly informed them both that, in his opinion, not only had they failed to escape time but they'd be hard pressed to escape Aberdeen."
"War broke out in 1939. I sensed the opportunity to entertain the troops abroad. Unfortunately I volunteered to entertain the wrong side. I'd agreed to the bookings, but because of my poor education I had no idea that Munich was in Germany. Let me tell you, those concerts were very hard work. I didn't really have an act, so I simply collected together all the old jokes I could think of. In fact the act went so badly that once British Intelligence discovered what I was up to I was positively encouraged to continue because of my invaluable role in sapping enemy morale. Indeed on the explicit orders of Winston Churchill I added a comic song. I was later told by Field-Marshal Montgomery himself that my efforts to entertain in every tawdry nightclub in Berlin had hastened the end of the war by eighteen months."
Well worth a look if you can get hold of it.
N.
