Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Oct 4, 2006 22:08:24 GMT
A great book:
Come 'ere There's More: Letters From Me Mammy (1987).
Some great stuff in there of you love 'corny' yet none vulgar stuff - I had a few 'lol' moments too - I love some of these!
A few examples:
Dear Son,
I've got some good news and some bad news, I'll give you the good news first so if you don't want to hear it close your eyes for the next few minutes:
Tommy from the library died last week. As a mark of respect everybody in the library stood up and made a noise for a minute.
And now for the good news (you can open your eyes now Jimmy): your brother Donal in the army has been promoted; He's been made a court martial.
Your dad got a nasty shock last night in bed. He thought he had a hole in his heart. But it turned out to be a Polo mint in his pyjamas pocket.
Must run.
Love Mammy
Dear Jimmy
You won't believe it but your Dad's actually been looking for work. He went for a job on the farm last week. The farmer said to him, "I'm looking for a fellow to pick potatoes." Your father replied, "If you want my advice you should get the fellow who planted them as he knows where he put them." Then the farmer asked him, "How would you stop a rooster from crowing on a Sunday morning?" Your Dad said, "I'd eat him on Saturday night." Needless to say, he talked his way out of that job.
Love Mammy
Dear Jimmy
I don't like to start off with bad news but your sister Mary has failed her driving test again. That's the fifteenth time she's failed. Apparently the examiner asked her, "What goes green - amber - red - red - amber - green?" and she said, "A packet of wine gums." Then he asked her, "What does a yellow line at the side of the road mean?" and she says "No parking there at all," "Right," he says, "and what does a double yellow line mean?" and she says, "No parking there at all at all." So after all the questions she takes out the car. He tells her to let out the clutch so she opens the door and says, "Out you get." I don't think she'll ever pass that test.
Love Mammy
;D
N.
Come 'ere There's More: Letters From Me Mammy (1987).
Some great stuff in there of you love 'corny' yet none vulgar stuff - I had a few 'lol' moments too - I love some of these!
A few examples:
Dear Son,
I've got some good news and some bad news, I'll give you the good news first so if you don't want to hear it close your eyes for the next few minutes:
Tommy from the library died last week. As a mark of respect everybody in the library stood up and made a noise for a minute.
And now for the good news (you can open your eyes now Jimmy): your brother Donal in the army has been promoted; He's been made a court martial.
Your dad got a nasty shock last night in bed. He thought he had a hole in his heart. But it turned out to be a Polo mint in his pyjamas pocket.
Must run.
Love Mammy
Dear Jimmy
You won't believe it but your Dad's actually been looking for work. He went for a job on the farm last week. The farmer said to him, "I'm looking for a fellow to pick potatoes." Your father replied, "If you want my advice you should get the fellow who planted them as he knows where he put them." Then the farmer asked him, "How would you stop a rooster from crowing on a Sunday morning?" Your Dad said, "I'd eat him on Saturday night." Needless to say, he talked his way out of that job.
Love Mammy
Dear Jimmy
I don't like to start off with bad news but your sister Mary has failed her driving test again. That's the fifteenth time she's failed. Apparently the examiner asked her, "What goes green - amber - red - red - amber - green?" and she said, "A packet of wine gums." Then he asked her, "What does a yellow line at the side of the road mean?" and she says "No parking there at all," "Right," he says, "and what does a double yellow line mean?" and she says, "No parking there at all at all." So after all the questions she takes out the car. He tells her to let out the clutch so she opens the door and says, "Out you get." I don't think she'll ever pass that test.
Love Mammy
;D
N.
