Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Sept 29, 2006 8:48:33 GMT
Very PC.
Doesn't mention the war.
Never been violent towards women.
Knows no jokes about drink driving nor has ever had any related offences re: this.
Does not perform racist material nor spoof someone's ethnicity to extremes.
Right... that's Cliff Richard's CV out of the way... what can I say about this feller?
c*nt.
There you go - that's my review - I absolutely hate him.
When he was declared bankrupt recently - I was over the moon!
I even penned the following little tale to cheer me up:
Jim looked at his revolver fondly. It had been given to him by Major Charles Grosvenor after a concert in the Falklands where he was bravely flown in by helicopter nowhere near the conflict.
He lifted his glass and the ice cracked and tinkled as he raised it to his lips.
"Bells Whisky" he muttered in contempt - since being bankrupted that's all he could afford.
He downed the bitter-tasting liquid and smiled to himself as he reminisced....
"Chalky" was a comedy creation of genius...
He was still a cheeky lad, loved by all the ladies... despite his progressing years...
People did want to buy his DVDs and...
The whisky drained, the ice clattered back to the bottom of the glass as he put it down.
"Ah well" he thought, "at least I'll be headline news tomorrow" and he raised the pistol to his head and... [end of part one]
Part Two
Jim pulled the trigger... he'd done it many times before, but never whilst the gun was pointing at himself.
His hand contorted, the pressure on his wrist was becoming unbearable and beads of sweat ran down his reddened face and onto his chin.
And then - 'click'.
Jim woke up - it'd all been a dream... he was still chained by his ankle to a waste pipe with a hacksaw at his side and a body on the floor.
And then he heard a voice... it was Chalky...
"Helloow derr" it said stereotypically, "I wants to pleyy a geym, mon!"
Am I the only one who's 'not so keen'?
Click Here To Find Out!
;D
N.