Post by Lieutenant Columbo on May 16, 2008 23:29:45 GMT
"He's NOT the Messiah... he's a vewwy naughty boy!"
:worthy:
Just one of many, MANY great lines from this truly excellent film about a 'near miss' messiah - one of my all time favourites!
Born in the stable next door to Sir Lord Babby Jesus, Brian's a chap who ends up becoming a Messiah of sorts... much to the dismay of his Mam, and indeed it doesn't exactly please Brian himself.
Highly controversial when released but in this day and age, blasphemy's kind of diluted... if ye don't take offence at a film that rips the p*ss out of the bible then you've a treat in store - excellent script, good comic acting and line delivery and pretty impressive sets and costume design too!
Here's some of my other favourite bits in the film.
Brian's mother: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian's mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian's mother: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Brian's mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bl**dy do-gooder.
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, f*ck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we f*ck off, O Lord?
Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth?
Brian: You sanctimonious b*st*rds!
Centurion: I have an order for his release!
Brian: You stupid b*st*rds!
Mr. Cheeky: Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth.
Brian: What?
Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth.
Centurion: Take him down!
Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!
Victim #1: Eh, I'm Brian!
Mr. Big Nose: I'm Brian!
Victim #2: Look, I'm Brian!
Brian: I'm Brian!
Victims: I'm Brian!
Gregory: I'm Brian, and so's my wife!
Victims: I'm Brian! I'm Brian!...
Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!
Centurion: All right. Take him away and release him.
Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke!
N.
:worthy:
Just one of many, MANY great lines from this truly excellent film about a 'near miss' messiah - one of my all time favourites!
Born in the stable next door to Sir Lord Babby Jesus, Brian's a chap who ends up becoming a Messiah of sorts... much to the dismay of his Mam, and indeed it doesn't exactly please Brian himself.
Highly controversial when released but in this day and age, blasphemy's kind of diluted... if ye don't take offence at a film that rips the p*ss out of the bible then you've a treat in store - excellent script, good comic acting and line delivery and pretty impressive sets and costume design too!
Here's some of my other favourite bits in the film.
Brian's mother: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Brian's mother: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Brian's mother: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Brian's mother: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper?
Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"?
Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir.
Brian: Well, what happened?
Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir.
Brian: Cured?
Ex-Leper: Yes sir, bloody miracle, sir. Bless you!
Brian: Who cured you?
Ex-Leper: Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bl**dy do-gooder.
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, f*ck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we f*ck off, O Lord?
Centurion: Where is Brian of Nazareth?
Brian: You sanctimonious b*st*rds!
Centurion: I have an order for his release!
Brian: You stupid b*st*rds!
Mr. Cheeky: Uh, I'm Brian of Nazareth.
Brian: What?
Mr. Cheeky: Yeah, I - I - I'm Brian of Nazareth.
Centurion: Take him down!
Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!
Victim #1: Eh, I'm Brian!
Mr. Big Nose: I'm Brian!
Victim #2: Look, I'm Brian!
Brian: I'm Brian!
Victims: I'm Brian!
Gregory: I'm Brian, and so's my wife!
Victims: I'm Brian! I'm Brian!...
Brian: I'm Brian of Nazareth!
Centurion: All right. Take him away and release him.
Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm only joking. I'm not really Brian. No, I'm not Brian. I was only - It was a joke. I'm only pulling your leg! It's a joke! I'm not him! I'm just having you on! Put me back! Bloody Romans! Can't take a joke!
N.
