Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Jun 2, 2008 3:52:38 GMT
"Good God Mrs. Root - they're after the roughage!"
One of my favourites this.
Starring George Cole and shown on ITV in 1992, it's all about Henry Root, self-made millionaire (seller of 'Wet Fish') who decides to mooch around Europe doing a report for the BBC and the P.M. (self-appointed).
This was about Britain joining Europe in 1992 (yes... even back then we were supposed to be becoming 'Europeans')
Very funny - done pseudo-documentary style, it portrayed a very opinionated chap and his stereotypes accompanied by his long suffering wife Muriel (mainly referred to as Mrs. Root).
Here's a pic. of him keeping the intellectuals 'busy' in France...
Great stuff - and yours truly loved it so much he got the book too.
Here's an excerpt.
Mrs Root seems to be a little shaken. 'I didn’t like the look of that, Henry.'
I hasten to reassure her. ‘No reason to be alarmed, Mrs Root. A leisure-intent German will from time to time don short trousers and do a dance, slapping his partner with a sausage. Leather is worn and large quantities of beer are drunk from tankards the size of buckets. We’ll look in later - after a nice cup of tea. We’ll need to be fortified, do you see? Unfortified, a German having fun bears down somewhat heavily.’
We find a tearoom — enter and take our seats, order hot chocolate and gdteau. We are surrounded by smartly dressed, well-behaved old ladies. Mrs Root seems not to have recovered yet from her glimpse inside the Bierkeller.
‘I didn’t like the look of it at all, Henry. All those fat men in shorts. I thought they looked ever so silly.’
‘The German by tradition,’ I explain, ‘has always had a somewhat open attitude as to the body beautiful. Nude dancing in the Greek mode is a favourite pastime, drilling firm young men in army shorts another. It’s the dark underside of German culture, Mrs Root. Their need to let off steam sometimes manifests itself in practices as yet unseen in Esher.’ I pause, realise that I might be overheard. ‘I’ll not go into detail, Mrs Root.’
I’d forgotten for the moment that English, quite rightly, is most educated Germans’ second language. I now notice that the little old ladies are craning in our direction, hanging on to my every word. ‘I’ll say this much, though. Leather plays a part.’
‘Leather, Henry?’
‘Precisely, Mrs Root. A German’s relationship with leather is absolutely of the essence. It has been calculated that ninety-five per cent of German men wear leather body stockings under their working clothes. Your German’s preferred way of letting off steam after personally turning out thirty-five Mercedes saloon cars in a day is as follows: after work he’ll shower at home and change his body stocking. Alternatively, he’ll lie on a hot slab in a bathhouse and have his backside twigged. We’ll look into that later. Then he’s ready to put on shorts and do the sausage dance in company. Several buckets of lager later, he’ll spew up, exit with his pals and form a priapic pyramid in the street. Nothing wrong with that.’
‘it all sounds enormous fun?’ says Mrs Root
.
‘I don’t know about that, Mrs Root. Body contact and collectivism, that’s his game. He likes to be told. In this respect he’s like a child.’
‘I thought it was the Italians who were like children, Henry.’
‘I’d thank you not to mention Italians, Mrs Root. Your German is a well-behaved child - there’s all the difference. If you’ve had a sufficiency of gateau, we’ll return to the hotel.’
The t.v. series is excellent - but alas, not yet available on DVD - and I've no idea if there's any intention if it getting a release... luckily I have it on vid. and have transferred it onto DVD should the tape end up getting knackered... but here's hoping for a DVD release with extras - you never know.
N.
One of my favourites this.
Starring George Cole and shown on ITV in 1992, it's all about Henry Root, self-made millionaire (seller of 'Wet Fish') who decides to mooch around Europe doing a report for the BBC and the P.M. (self-appointed).
This was about Britain joining Europe in 1992 (yes... even back then we were supposed to be becoming 'Europeans')
Very funny - done pseudo-documentary style, it portrayed a very opinionated chap and his stereotypes accompanied by his long suffering wife Muriel (mainly referred to as Mrs. Root).
Here's a pic. of him keeping the intellectuals 'busy' in France...
Great stuff - and yours truly loved it so much he got the book too.
Here's an excerpt.
Mrs Root seems to be a little shaken. 'I didn’t like the look of that, Henry.'
I hasten to reassure her. ‘No reason to be alarmed, Mrs Root. A leisure-intent German will from time to time don short trousers and do a dance, slapping his partner with a sausage. Leather is worn and large quantities of beer are drunk from tankards the size of buckets. We’ll look in later - after a nice cup of tea. We’ll need to be fortified, do you see? Unfortified, a German having fun bears down somewhat heavily.’
We find a tearoom — enter and take our seats, order hot chocolate and gdteau. We are surrounded by smartly dressed, well-behaved old ladies. Mrs Root seems not to have recovered yet from her glimpse inside the Bierkeller.
‘I didn’t like the look of it at all, Henry. All those fat men in shorts. I thought they looked ever so silly.’
‘The German by tradition,’ I explain, ‘has always had a somewhat open attitude as to the body beautiful. Nude dancing in the Greek mode is a favourite pastime, drilling firm young men in army shorts another. It’s the dark underside of German culture, Mrs Root. Their need to let off steam sometimes manifests itself in practices as yet unseen in Esher.’ I pause, realise that I might be overheard. ‘I’ll not go into detail, Mrs Root.’
I’d forgotten for the moment that English, quite rightly, is most educated Germans’ second language. I now notice that the little old ladies are craning in our direction, hanging on to my every word. ‘I’ll say this much, though. Leather plays a part.’
‘Leather, Henry?’
‘Precisely, Mrs Root. A German’s relationship with leather is absolutely of the essence. It has been calculated that ninety-five per cent of German men wear leather body stockings under their working clothes. Your German’s preferred way of letting off steam after personally turning out thirty-five Mercedes saloon cars in a day is as follows: after work he’ll shower at home and change his body stocking. Alternatively, he’ll lie on a hot slab in a bathhouse and have his backside twigged. We’ll look into that later. Then he’s ready to put on shorts and do the sausage dance in company. Several buckets of lager later, he’ll spew up, exit with his pals and form a priapic pyramid in the street. Nothing wrong with that.’
‘it all sounds enormous fun?’ says Mrs Root
.
‘I don’t know about that, Mrs Root. Body contact and collectivism, that’s his game. He likes to be told. In this respect he’s like a child.’
‘I thought it was the Italians who were like children, Henry.’
‘I’d thank you not to mention Italians, Mrs Root. Your German is a well-behaved child - there’s all the difference. If you’ve had a sufficiency of gateau, we’ll return to the hotel.’
The t.v. series is excellent - but alas, not yet available on DVD - and I've no idea if there's any intention if it getting a release... luckily I have it on vid. and have transferred it onto DVD should the tape end up getting knackered... but here's hoping for a DVD release with extras - you never know.
N.