Landlords!

[Master Shake]

As I've said many times, as landlords, ours make great restaurant owners. Renee usually uses the back door when she comes in from work. On Friday, we decided to go out to buy something for supper two hours or so after she got home. As we go out the front door, we notice a letter taped to it. Apparently, all apartments are being inspected by the HRA (in essence, local council) this Thursday, and the letter is advising all tenants to have their apartments 'presentable'.

So why am I p*ssed off? For one, they first mentioned this in MAY and haven't since, until Friday. Second, it's a week before Christmas. Third, I don't fancy being under HRA scrutiny (even though it's them, not us the inspection is about) and having strangers clumping around in here looking through our bedroom etc, not to mention probably scaring the crap out of the cat.

Fourth, the term 'presentable.' To most people, our apartment is usually, 'presentable.' To our landlords, 'presentable' means shrine. Which means, late on Friday night I essentially got a message saying make the place like a shrine in less than a week. If they'd actually KNOCKED, I might have got the message early, and started ON Friday, but no, instead, my weekend was spent rearranging, disposing of, staging nicely and generally 'shrining up' seven years worth of accumulated junk, not to mention making the apartment "Landlord Standard' clean!

Saturday was the spare room. Full of junk, now empty, dusted, cleaned, polished, and vacuumed.

Sunday was the living room and computer room.

Today was the kitchen, which means I only have the bathroom left (on Wednesday; we have other stuff to do tomorrow). Anyway, I don't think I've ever seen our kitchen look so clean, even if I say so myself. I've been at it since about 8am (3pm here now) and I'm KNACKERED!! I swear, if anyone even so much as BREATHES in that kitchen, I'll have 'em for it!

Naturally, though, I'm about to start mucking it up straight away.

Why?

I've been at it since 8! I think I deserve a butty and a brew!



(Sodding landlords)

[Master Shake]

Now I'm really ticked off.

Be ready for 9am, they said. At ten to nine I heard them out in the hall, hoovering.

Since then, not a peep. And it's now 10:30.

Suddenly their comical little note on the end of their letter saying, "don't plan on sleeping in," complete with smiley, doesn't seem as amusing.

r soles.

[Stan Butler]

Dec 18, 2008 16:31:10 GMT Master Shake said:

Suddenly their comical little note on the end of their letter saying, "don't plan on sleeping in," complete with smiley, doesn't seem as amusing.

r soles.

Cheeky B*stards!

[Master Shake]

They finally turned up half an hour later. The landlord excused himself halfway through and disappeared. She (the inspector) carried on...well...inspecting, all but telling me the place is a sh*thole and falling down.

That's a good thing though, (really!) because the landlords will get the money they're applying for to fix the place up.

[The Collector]

Dec 18, 2008 18:25:03 GMT Stan Butler said:

Dec 18, 2008 16:31:10 GMT Master Shake said:

Suddenly their comical little note on the end of their letter saying, "don't plan on sleeping in," complete with smiley, doesn't seem as amusing.

r soles.

Cheeky B*stards!

Gosh! what wit!

[Master Shake]

Landlords again! No surprise there then. At about 2:30 this afternoon (Easter Monday, bear in mind) Renee and I heard someone coming in the door downstairs and coming up the stairs. We hear the floorboards creaking out in the hall but no one knocked at either ours or our neighbour's door. Then this person (who it turned out was Landlord #2, the b*stard of the two) goes downstairs, and out the door. We open the front door and find another of their little love letters taped to it:

Attention Tenant:

We have an viewing[/i] of all apartments scheduled for Wednesday, April 15, at 10:00am[/i]

The inspection if being made[/i] by Dodgy Bob's local plumbing firm blah blah blah.....

Now good English is a pet peeve of mine, and in an official mandate from my landlord this is just laughable. It goes on to talk about Dodgy Bob bidding for the rights to do the plumbing work on the supposed renovation they're doing (ie, they choose the firm that does the cheapest job), then continues:

"You do not need to be present as we have master keys to the apartments. We will view what needs to be done and lock things up safe and sound upon leaving."

Yeah, right. Like I'm letting them put a TOENAIL in here when I'm not in. Even if they have a legit reason to be here, (which they sort of do), I'd consider that an invasion of my privacy if they were in here when I wasn't. I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them. Granted, they'll find something to blame me for, (they invariably do) but if they try to get in with their master key without knocking, I'll raise holy hell.

And, I'm p*ssed that, given a little time to make the place presentable (to their impossible standards) would have been nice, but apparently they think 2:30pm two days before a 10am appointment is sufficient.

Arseholes.

Oh, and the roof STILL hasn't been even LOOKED at despite #1 promising me on the 3rd they were planning to look at it "real soon". #1 is an appropriate nickname for him, because he's full of it.

[Mr Levity]

Good luck with that one mr Shake.

[Master Shake]

After all the hullabaloo of all the inspections etc, a note was put on our door (again, can't they KNOCK?!) on Thursday, informing us that builders will arrive 8am Monday (today) to begin the remodel of our apartment. It also says they'll be replacing the vanity and faucets in the bathroom. In other words, new bathroom cabinet, sink, and taps. I'm not too optimistic....

ONE person just showed up, at 2:45pm. He asked me what was to be done, asking, "Are we putting a new lav in here?" Me, knowing what I think LAV means, say no. "As far as I know, it's do do with the sink and vanity," I say. I have to say that. Using proper English confuses most Americans in my experience.

"That's what I mean," he says, "the vanity. Could I take a look?"

I take him to the bathroom, pointing out when he said "Lav," I thought he meant putting in a new toilet. No one mentioned a new toilet to me. He sort of shrugged and laughed. Anyway, he goes into the bathroom, measures ONCE across the width of the sink, announces this will be the same kind they reinstall, but that he'll have to get one. Also that he can't guarantee today, and it might be first thing in the morning.

After arriving at 2:45, he's now left. It's 2:54.

Like I said, not optimistic. I didn't actually see his boots, spurs, horse, and ten-gallon hat, but I'm sure they were there somewhere.

[Mr Levity]

Good luck with that one, Captain.