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Post by moriarty on Jan 11, 2007 2:19:50 GMT
A man dies and goes straight to Hell. The devil greets him and immediately makes him face a big decision: "You may choose which room you wish to enter. Whichever room you choose, the person in that room will switch with you. They'll finally go to heaven after years of waiting and you'll take over until somebody switches with you. So go on, pick a room."
The devil leads him to the first room where someone is tied to a wall and is being whipped over and over again. In the second room is a man strapped to a table being subjected to Chinese water torture. Finally, in the third room is a man sitting in a chair while being pleasured by a beautiful woman.
"I choose this room!" the man says.
"Very well," the devil says. He walks up to the woman and taps her on the shoulder.
"You can go now. I've found you're replacement."
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Jan 11, 2007 22:30:18 GMT
 I like it! ;D N. |
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Elvira
Canned Laughter
Posts: 225
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Post by Elvira on May 31, 2009 19:28:17 GMT
Hell's in bad shape
There was a fence that divided Heaven from Hell. One day God notices that the devil's side is in pretty bad shape. It is falling down, badly in need of paint, weeds growing up around it, etc.
So, God hollers over the fence, “Hey Satan, why don't you fix up your side of the fence?”
Satan hollers back, “Why don't you mind your own business.”
So God says, “I'll hire a lawyer and sue you if you don't.”
The devil replies, "Yeah, right. Where are YOU going to find a lawyer?"
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Elvira
Canned Laughter
Posts: 225
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Post by Elvira on May 31, 2009 19:29:32 GMT
Irishman & the Devil
Irishman trying to learn golf and having a terrible time of it. "I'd give just about anything to get this right!" he says aloud.
Straight on the Devil appears and says "Anything?"
"Well, short of selling my soul, yes."
"How about giving up sex for the rest of your life?"
"Done and done!" He finishes the game in rare good form and rumor of his deal spreads thru the clubhouse. One of the members, a reporter, sees a story here and asks him, "Sir, is it true you made a deal with the Devil to become a great golfer?"
"True, enough."
"And you gave up sex as your part of the bargain?"
"True again!"
"And may I have your name, sir?"
"Certainly. Father Mike O'Ryan."
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