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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 11, 2007 11:52:42 GMT
Don't try to find this folks, it don't exist... YET. But if it did...  ;D N. P.S. By the way... title change!  |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 11, 2007 12:06:55 GMT
Here's a scene...
Angelique (23, four kids at home) walking around Asda-type store... she's wearing a crop top, leggings (yellow) and 'jelly shoes' and has the ubiquitous plaster on her shin where she's borrowed her partner's razor and cut her leg shaving. Her mobile goes off - tune - "Want You Back" - Take That.
Angelique: Hello? Yeah... where are ye? Where? What you doing there... no, we don't need no more of that bacon, it gave our Danielle the sh*ts - get some of them Cheese Strings instead.
Cut to 'Life Partner' Jason (24) - in same store. Wearing rigger boots and typical 'shellsuit' gear with burberry cap.
Jason: Right... where will it be?
[Scenes intercut between Jason and Angelique... camera follows Jason as he walks around]
Angelique: Near the f*ckin' cheese, kn*head where do you think?
Jason: all right, keep yer tampon in, ye sarky bitch!
Angelique: Hey, and get some of that cider.
Jason: Which, 'White Lightning'?
Angelique: Jesus no - it's too dear that, buy that "Right Price" one - it's cheaper.
Jason: Yeah, but it tastes like sh*te.
Angelique: I know, but it's strong and we can always put some of that vodka in it to liven it up.
Jason: Have we any left?
Angelique: Course we have - there's another two bottles of that stuff me Mam brought back when she went to Ski-Athos, remember?
Jason: Sh*t yeah.
Jason stops near the cheese strings and picks them up
Jason: Right, I've got them cheese things... want any Dairylea Dippers?
Angelique: No, they'll only get eaten... come and find us will ye?
Jason: Okay
Jason walks around the next aisle... Angelique is there
Angelique still talking on the phone: Oh yer here?
Jason: Yeah... shall I hang up?
Angelique: Yeah... t'ra.
Jason: T'ra.
Jason puts 'phone away
Angelique: Come on, let's see what's going cheap in the 'bent bargains'.
Cut.
What do you reckon?
;D
N.
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Post by Stan Butler on Mar 11, 2007 17:18:34 GMT
This is going to be the next best British Sitcom!
I reckon we'll be moving this thread to 'The Best of British' in no time. ;D
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 17, 2007 11:19:25 GMT
Here... a couple of 'location shots' to give you an idea of where the thing will be taking place... not literally, but this type o' thing.   N. |
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Post by Stan Butler on Mar 17, 2007 12:19:20 GMT
What a nice place! ;D
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Post by The Collector on Mar 17, 2007 14:39:53 GMT
I alway's want to duck when i go through there on bus!
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Post by Master Shake on Mar 17, 2007 16:54:18 GMT
They grey skies and bare trees add to the ambience perfectly.
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 17, 2007 22:29:24 GMT
They do indeed... you wanted to see some of the funny looks I got off the 'natives' as I parked up and took them photos!
;D
N.
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 19, 2007 0:33:12 GMT
Title change!!! Here's a pic. I've just done... I decided to change the name of the local pub in the show from 'The Poacher' to 'The Pig & Blanket' - so, with a bit of phototrickery I present the following to you - what do you reckon?  N. |
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Post by Stan Butler on Mar 19, 2007 11:57:30 GMT
I like the new title! Sounds good to me.
You'd never know you'd tampered with that photo ;D
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 19, 2007 16:40:51 GMT
I like the new title! Sounds good to me. You'd never know you'd tampered with that photo ;D Well... ye never know if I want to go in that pub... so I'm behaving! ;D N. |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 19, 2007 16:54:07 GMT
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Mar 19, 2007 19:48:19 GMT
Here... updated that pic.  Now we have: The Chav Couple. The stereotypical 'fit clubber' girl. The Grizzled Alkie! What do you reckon? ;D N. |
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