Favourite Dialogue...

[Stan Butler]

Some of my favourite quotes from Laurel & Hardy films...



SONS OF THE DESERT (1933)

OLLIE: Why did you get a veteranariun?
STAN: Well I didn't think his religion would make any difference


STAN: I'm going down and I'm gonna tell her everything...
OLLIE: So you're turning yellow
STAN: Hhh?
OLLIE: You're yellow
STAN: (slight pause) Must be the lightning

WAY OUT WEST (1937)

LOLA: Tell me 'bout my dear daddy, is it true that he's dead?
STAN: Well we hope he is, they buried him!
LOLA: What did he die of?
STAN: I think he died of a Tuesday!

THEM THAR HILLS (1934)

STAN: We could hire one of those trailers. I know a guy who's got one for rent, we could get it for next to nothing... I bet if we paid cash, we'd get it for less than that!

STAN: What shall we have for dinner?
OLLIE: How about a plate of beans and some steaming hot coffee
STAN: Swell, you sure know how to plan a meal!

BUSY BODIES (1933)

OLLIE: The whole world looks bright (looks at Stan) why, even you look bright this morning

TWICE TWO (1933)

OLLIE: What did she say?
STAN: She said that we can't go out tonight, that we have to go right home
OLLIE: Why?
STAN: Cause she's got a surprise for you
OLLIE: What else did she say?
STAN: She told me not to tell you she had a surprise
OLLIE: well don't tell me
STAN: I won't, I can keep a secret.

That'll do for now!

[The Collector]

Going Bye-bye

Pardon me, my ear is full of milk...

[Stan Butler]

FLYING DEUCES (1939)

Ollie has fallen for a girl....

STAN: What's the matter?
OLLIE: I don't know
STAN: I know..... Your in love
OLLIE: In what?
STAN: In love! L.U.G.H. ....love!

[bluebottle]

DIRTY WORK

Professor
"Where's Jessop??"
Ollie
"Jessop let me see Oh about 45 miles South East of Augusta Georgia."
Professor.
"No No Jessop my Butler."
Stan
"He's gone to look for an Electric Chair.."

ONE GOOD TURN

Ollie
"Why YOU......YOU....!"
Stan
"STop...Don't call me a You You

[Stan Butler]

HELPMATES

CONVERSATION ON TELEPHONE

OLLIE: Where have you been?
STAN: I was here with me
OLLIE: Why weren't you over to the party last night?
STAN: I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog
OLLIE: You were what?
STAN: A dog bit me
OLLIE: I can't understand you. Spell it...
STAN: A dog bit me.. B. I. - it me bit me
OLLIE: Where?
STAN (points to his wrist): There!


SCRAM!


JUDGE: You're charged with vagrancy. Are you guilty or not guilty?
OLLIE: Not guilty your highness
JUDGE: On what grounds?
STAN: We weren't on the grounds, we were sleeping on a park bench

ANOTHER FINE MESS


COP 1: Say Kelly, did you see a couple of bozo's round this way?
COP 2: Sure. A couple just went in there. What's wrong?
COP 1: Trying to make a hotel out of the city park. Why, they even put a couple of benches together so they could have twin beds
COP 2: Oh yeah?
COP 1: Oh yes, and when I told them to move on, the little fellow tipped his hat and said "yes mam" !

;D

THELMA: Tell me Agnes, how long have you been here?
STAN : About a half an hour.... How silly of me... I`m so nervous... I mean, er, a half a year... To be exact, three months.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

"Nice weather we had tomorrow"

"Have you ever had your throat cut in the middle of the night?"
"No"
"Well you're going to"


"You know what a symo-nominummn is don't you?"
"No..."
"Well it's cinnamon..."

"Plam tree - Plam - accent on the 'lam'"

"A blizzard is the inside of a buzzard"

"Take it or leave it... I don't give a continental"

"Saath of London"

"They didn't have any mustachio"

(You need to crash yer bike into a boating lake for this) - "Naughty naughty!"

;D

N.

[larffalot]

In The Live Ghost

Ollie is about to dispose of the "body", and first loads some coal in the sack. Stan watches.
Stan: "D'ya think he's going to heaven, or the other place?"
Ollie: "Oh, I'm afraid the other place."
Stan: "Do you have to take your own coal?"

[Lieutenant Columbo]

larffalot said:

In The Live Ghost

Stan: "Do you have to take your own coal?"

;D A fair question I suppose!



N.

[solo]

Help!

[Charlie Farley]

Possibly my all time favourite dialogue from anyone ever:

Wife: Did I or did I not give you the money to pay on the furniture?

Ollie: You certainly did.

Wife: Then why wasn't it paid?

Ollie: (Points to Stan) Why, I gave it to him to pay it for me.

Wife: (To Stan) Then what did you do with it?

Stan: (Points to Ollie) I gave it back to him.

Ollie: You gave it to me?!

Stan: Yes. I gave it to you to pay my room and board, then you gave it to her. Remember?

Wife: Do you mean to say that the money that he gave to you, that you gave to him, that he gave to me, was the same money that I gave to him to pay him?

Stan: Well, if that was the money that you gave to him to give to me to pay him, it must have been the money that I gave to him to give to you to pay my rent, didn't I?

Wife: Mr Finlayson, I owe you an apology.

Finlayson: And $37.

Wife: Then this money must belong to you. (She pulls some money out of her pocket and gives it to the Landlord.)

Finlayson: The next time, I want my payment without any detour. Ha! He gave it to you and you gave it to him and who give it to what! Why, you're all nuts! (He walks out).

Wife: (To Ollie) You big dumbbell, I can't trust you to do a thing. (To Stan) And as for you, I've got a good mind to throw you out.

Stan: You can't do it.

Wife: I can't do it?

Stan: No, cos I've paid my room and board in advance and I gave it to him (points to Ollie).

Ollie: What do you mean you gave it to me? That was the money that she gave to me and I gave it to you to give to him, then you gave it back to me and I had to give it to her to give to him.

Stan: (looking puzzled). Was that the money that she gave to him that I gave to you to....

Ollie: Why, certainly.

Stan: Well, if she wants to give it to him, that's her business. No use you and I arguing about it.

[Lieutenant Columbo]

Great stuff!

N.

[Stan Butler]

Classic!