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Post by The Collector on Sept 21, 2006 16:12:34 GMT
Ipswich - Regents Theatre - 4th November Bournemouth - Opera House - 5th November Cardiff - St Davids Hall - Monday 6th November Bristol - Colston Hall - 7th November Wolverhampton - Civic Hall - Thursday 9th November Liverpool - Philharmonic Hall - Friday 10th November Leicester - De Montfort - Saturday 11th November Newcastle - City Hall - Sunday 12th November Edinburgh - Usher Hall - Monday 13th November Manchester - Apollo - Wednesday 15th November London - Shepherds Bush Empire - Friday 17th November London - Shepherds Bush Empire - Saturday 18th November  |
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Post by The Collector on Sept 21, 2006 16:14:43 GMT
My Pink Half of the Drainpipe (Stanshall)
You who speak to me across the fence,
Of common sense.
How your tomato plant may win a prize,
(Wouldn't that be nice?)
And by the way,
How's your wife?
Your holidays were spent in Spain,
You went by train,
You'll go again.
(Spoken)
Have you seen my bull-fight poster on the wall?
Do you know the happy memories it recalls?
Here's a photograph of me and my son Ted,
That's my cousin with his hanky on his head.
We booked in at our hotel just after two,
And met a family from Bradford that we knew.
My pink half of the drainpipe,
Separates next door from me.
My pink half of the drainpipe,
Oh, Mammy, belongs to me.
(Spoken)
I've a sister in Toronto who's a nurse,
And I've had a bit of bother laying turf.
And it's Life not books that's taught me all I've learned,
In the oven my rice pudding's getting burned.
Have you seen the new attachment on my drill?
I must have the cat put down because he's ill.
My pink half of the drainpipe,
I may paint it blue,
My pink half of the drainpipe
Keeps me safe from you.
I'm a wobbly jelly, you're a pink blancmange.
I'm a sherry trifle, you're a chocolate sponge.
My Dad wears a paper hat, mine inflates balloons,
Whoops, slod-a-dod-flip-flop, here comes a spoon.
[The rest is transcribed - not printed in the sleeve notes]
(Spoken:) My pink half of the the drainpipe separates me from the incredibly boring story of your life in all its minute and tedious attention to detail, and "Was it a Thursday or a Wednesday .... ?" - Well I don't know if you are normal, but if you're normal then I intend to be a freak for the rest of my life and I will baffle you with cabbages and rhinoceroses and quotations from "Now we are Six" through the mouthpiece of Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head.
SO THERE!!!
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