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Post by Stan Butler on Sept 29, 2006 12:36:51 GMT
;D Like when we got some ear drops from the vets for our poor wee doggie... He'd accidentally put in 100 boxes of the stuff and it came up at £800!!! I said, "surely we only need about 50"... you know, being witty like I am. "No... just one" said he unmoved by my retort. Ah well... not everyone appreciates my wit!  N. Don't you just love it when that happens!  |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Sept 29, 2006 22:04:45 GMT
Can't say I'm arsed one way or the other... it's only happened once! So that's CRAP... don't start one of these 'fake reality' stand-up routines... "Why does everyone selling the 'Big Issue' have a little dog with 'em... on a piece of string?" Balls! They DON'T... I've NEVER seen that... and I've known and chatted to lots of folk selling the Big Issue - so it's COMPLETELY UNTRUE!!! Now here's one that is true... for me anyhow... How come every time I go into Morrisons... I always get summat that just won't scan in at all? There you go - that's better!  N. |
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Post by Stan Butler on Nov 14, 2006 14:37:09 GMT
Being a bit of a Becks drinker. I decided to buy some of the 'Green Lemon' stuff from Tesco £2.50 for 6 bottles. Tried it last night.... It's cack!  |
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Post by The Collector on Nov 14, 2006 16:37:48 GMT
Had some last week...Thirst quenching pop! Not Booze  |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Nov 14, 2006 17:20:54 GMT
Why people feel the need to drink I'll never know.
I prefer to be in control thank you... all about 'Mental Capacity'
Can't you tell I've just been on another study day?
;D
N.
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Post by Stan Butler on Nov 14, 2006 17:32:01 GMT
Why people feel the need to drink I'll never know. ;D N. Neither do I, but I still do it! As long as I keep a certain level of control, and don't bring on a nasty hangover the following day, it's alreet by me. |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Nov 14, 2006 17:41:43 GMT
I see - when you black out, you go on to supping halves eh? ;D N. |
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Post by BobbyRazzle on Nov 14, 2006 18:39:30 GMT
Supping halves is for wimps.
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Post by Stan Butler on Nov 14, 2006 18:50:55 GMT
I see - when you black out, you go on to supping halves eh? ;D N. Up to now I've never had a black out. Only moments of amnesia the following day! Although I did nearly kill myself on Vodka one New Year's Eve a long time ago. I drunk a little bit too much and nearly choked on my own sick! What a Happy New Year that was! I stayed in bed on New Year's Day until 10pm!  I've never been that bad since! |
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Nov 15, 2006 9:04:04 GMT
Daftest trick I done did - again vodka.
Me and a mate when I was about 18 bought a big bottle of Smirnoff - I were swigging it, he was only sipping.
Last thing i recall was climbing a tree in the Plantations, Haigh Hall shouting: "Ooh Ooh, I'm a muhnkeh!"
Next thing - a day's passed and I'm covered in blood and vomit - we'd had the sh*t kicked out of us by two w*nkers in their 30s who decided to 'batter a couple of sweaties' (i.e. Heavy Metal Fans) for the fun of it.
And I had to find out what happened off him so I could tell me Mam before going to Casualty wi' a fractured nose and concussion.
Oh hang on... no, daftest was that '"Verve" gig at Haigh Hall... me and three mates - no tickets, I said I'd get in.
Anyhoo - a mix of too much ale and some very dodgy home-brew wine meant me keeling over outside the barrier - St. John's Ambulance took me in... I can recall Beck performing onstage doing "Devil's Haircut" (top tune) as this happened.
I came out with a piece of paper saying "Alcohol Induced Abdominal Pains", waving it as if it was some achievement!
I don't exactly recall these as 'fun times' although they might be laughable... it's hardly 'fun' when the only times you can remember 'having a laugh' were when you were as p*ssed as f**k - so I' sooner not bother at all now!
N.
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sarolium
Canned Laughter
REAL star of phoenix nights
Posts: 161
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Post by sarolium on Nov 15, 2006 9:47:37 GMT
Not touched alcohol since jan 1st 1979 gave up drinking and smoking on the same day!!! jeez i had some willpower then..ha always remember meeting a mate i used to drink with sometime after going on the wagon he said
"Believe you have given up drinking"?
Thinking he was interested I said yes and he replied
"How the f*ck can you get up knowing thats the best you are ever going to feel"
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Nov 15, 2006 10:04:59 GMT
;D It's like a feller telling me to give up drinking, having sex, smoking, eating meat and processed foods and to go for a 5 mile walk at 6 each morning.
"Will I live longer?" I asked.
"No," he replied, "but by Christ it'll f*cking feel like it!"
;D
N.
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Dance Commander
Audience Member
Down With Monarchy, Up With Anarchy!
Posts: 345
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Post by Dance Commander on Nov 20, 2006 16:42:06 GMT
ALCOHOL! Yum. xD Me and this thing here over my shoulder like alcohol  |
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Post by Stan Butler on Nov 20, 2006 17:23:58 GMT
Me and this thing here over my shoulder like alcohol 'THING' over your shoulder? |
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Post by BobbyRazzle on Nov 20, 2006 17:54:13 GMT
I've just had a brandy. For medicinal purposes though.
I'm full of a cold. I might have some more later.
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