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Post by SAMfilms on Jun 9, 2006 21:12:06 GMT
Two snowmen in a field. One says to the other, "Can you smell carrots?" ;D What's the difference between Yul Brynner and Rolf Harris? They're both bald, except Rolf Harris  |
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Post by Stan Butler on Jun 10, 2006 12:21:02 GMT
Two flies on a piece of shit.
1st one says "I've not seen you for ages"
2nd one says "I've been on the sick!"
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Post by Lieutenant Columbo on Jun 12, 2006 9:45:27 GMT
And one fly is chomping with his gob open whilst noshing on some poop... his mate say: "Do you mind when I'm trying to eat? Yer putting me off!" N. |
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Post by moriarty on Jun 16, 2006 18:05:42 GMT
posibly the worst joke ever in a cary on film
Woman : Profesor do you know anything about the habit of snakes?
Professor: oh yes a little some can be deadly venamous why?
Woman: ah well there was this one i saw and it moved in a very odd manner
(waving her hand back and forth to demonstrate)
Proffesor: what colour was the snake?
Woman : Green
Proffesor: oh no thats the vinscreen viper its compleatly harmless
Thank you carry on up the jungle
i actualy found myself laughing at that at about 1.30 the other morrning
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Post by bluebottle on Jun 16, 2006 19:43:31 GMT
"What's green and hangs from trees?  " "Monkey snot!" ;D |
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Post by Stan Butler on Jun 16, 2006 19:48:44 GMT
if it's coloured stuff you want...
What's pink n hard?
a pig with a flick knife!
What's green and hard?
Kermit the Frog with a machine gun!
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Post by Stan Butler on Jun 16, 2006 19:51:15 GMT
What's the world's biggest drawback?
King Kong's foreskin!
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Post by bluebottle on Jun 16, 2006 21:20:03 GMT
HA HA HA HA HA ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by bluebottle on Jun 16, 2006 21:23:47 GMT
Ernie and Elsie sat watching the TV and there's a knock at the door...
Ernie. "I hope that's your mother."
Elsie "Why."
Ernie "I've just concreted that f*cking step."
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coxy07
Not Got Much To Say!
Posts: 4
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Post by coxy07 on Jun 18, 2006 0:20:52 GMT
why did diana croos the road?
cos she wasnt wearing a seatbelt
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coxy07
Not Got Much To Say!
Posts: 4
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Post by coxy07 on Jun 18, 2006 0:21:40 GMT
wots the difference between achne and a priest?
achne waits till your 13 to come on your face
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Post by bluebottle on Jun 24, 2006 9:23:19 GMT
Harry talking to his mate in the pub.
"I took the Mother-In-law shopping today."
"Moan Moan Moan Moan Moan."
"She was even moaning when I let her out of the Boot."
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Post by bluebottle on Jun 24, 2006 9:30:04 GMT
A Bloke in the pub is drinking and looking at a picture in his wallet.
Bloke
"Another pint and a Whiskey chaser please."
The barman serves him and the bloke knocks back the drinks, looks at the picture and orders the same again.
Bloke
"Another pint and a Whiskey chaser please."
And this goes on most of the night till the eventually the barman says.
"I have noticed that whenever you have a drink you look at that picture is it someone special."
to which the man replies
"It's the Misses."
Barman
"You must really lover her."
Bloke
"No it's just that when she starts to look beautiful I know it's time to go home."
;D
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Post by Stan Butler on Jun 24, 2006 13:32:34 GMT
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he couldn't get his nob out of the chicken!
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Post by bluebottle on Jun 24, 2006 19:28:24 GMT
Man goes to the Doctors.
Man
"Doc you've got to help me my dick's gone Orange!!."
Doc
"ORANGE!!! Let me see."
Doc
"You are right it is orange what have you been doing??"
Man
"Nothing much just sitting in my room watching Porn and eating Watsits!.."
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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